A Year of Cooking Light

It's an impressive blog title. I know. I'll get to that in a minute.

So, I have to say that I had an awesome day. I am still continuing along aggressively with the job hunting. It's so much work I have to say not just in terms of actual labor but also in the enormous amount of energy it takes to remain focused and positive. I still feel pretty good about where I'm at. It's not that employers don't want me. It's that I'm still searching for what I want. And eventually the two will match up. O.K. so there may have been a couple of opportunities out there that I did want that didn't swing my way, yet at least. Let's just hope they keep swinging. So, if that gives you an idea of the mantras that I go through on a daily basis you can imagine my response when Katy called me up this afternoon and said, "I want to get out of the house. Would you like to join me?" My response of course was, "YES! God, Yes!"

The only important thing on the agenda was to get some lunch as it was about that time and we were both getting hungry. So we decided at first that we wanted to try this restaurant that I had been to before called Tapas. It is a place where they serve appetizer sized dishes and you order a few different things and split them amongst each other. However, when we got there, we discovered that it was locked and that they are only open for dinner. Dumb! So on to plan B. Drive down Ventura and see what we find. Well, we only got a block before we saw a sign that said Pinot Bistro and we veered sharply just in time to make it into the parking lot. And what an exciting find this place was. Everything on the menu looked exquisite. Katy ordered the French Onion Soup and a Roast Beef Sandwich. I had the Fish and Chips with a Raspberry Lemonade. It was all top notch and we can't wait to go back again sometime and sample other things from the menu.

Afterwards, we took advantage of the location and decided to drive by Katy's community garden plot which was only a few blocks away. So I got to see all of the things she has planted and am getting excited now about trying another herb garden out soon with my planters in the back yard again. Then, I took her by the Produce Mart that is by my house where I get all my fruits and veggies. Since we both read the book Animal, Vegetable, Mineral together, we have both been making a concerted effort to buy as much locally grown foods as possible. Luckily, this is much easier to do in California than it is many other places. So that was the basic extent of our Girls' afternoon outing. While everything we did I thoroughly enjoyed, I don't think it would have mattered how we spent our time as much as I loved the opportunity to just get away from the pressures of job hunting for a little while, treat myself with some very fine company, and not be sitting around the house waiting for the phone to ring. It was awesome.

But the day does not end at 4:00 p.m. and by the time we finished the afternoon Jeremy was ready for some socialization as well. So the four of us this time met up for dinner and after dropping Don off back at home for an early bed time, we headed down the street to the Courtyard Marriott where our friend Rian is staying while he is in town filming an episode of Super Nanny. This is the exact same hotel that Don and I stayed at when we were down here interviewing for his job and it is a really nice place. Katy and I were both eager to get a swim in at their heated outdoor pool and it was so awesome. So there we are, 9:00 at night doing the backstroke on top of a four story building and looking up at the moon and the stars shining bright over our heads and I had one of those moments where it hit me again -- this time last year, never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought that I would be living in a place where I could swim outside at night in January. And since Katy and I had the pool all to ourselves there we were swimming along for a good while doing leisurely laps along side each other deep in chatting and storytelling mode.

Eventually, however, we decided to take advantage of not only the fun and relaxing aspect of the pool but the physical benefits as well and we pushed ourselves to do a couple more challenging laps (i.e., full aggressive breast strokes as opposed to back strokes and doggy paddling during conversation). And as we did so we both became painfully aware that we are sorely out of shape. Not that we didn't know this before, but there's nothing like slapping a bikini on a woman and putting her to an aerobic test to really come face to face with the state of things. There's just not much room for denial about anything in a bikini.

One of the things that most people who know me well know about me is that I am an extremely positive thinker. I tend to always cast the best light on everything including past memories. If somebody remembers the glass being half empty, I remember it being half full. Well, we all have certain lights that we cast on things and they are not always reality. What this means for me is that I usually tend to think I am a healthy person because I have a concept of myself as an athlete and exercise is important to me. Whether or not I carry out a plan to completion I always come back to it. The problem is I never carry it out. I am always getting back on the horse but not staying on the horse and over time my aerobic health and strength has deteriorated to a condition of being winded during light activity. I am starting to feel the effects of a body that is never going to get younger and only going to get older. I have to choose my exercises more carefully like things that aren't too high impact or stressful on the joints.

Likewise, I tend to think that I have a healthy diet because Don and I enjoy mostly healthy foods. When we cook at home, we stay away from processed foods, use lots of fresh meat and produce and primarily prepare low fat, low salt, and low cholesterol foods. The problem is, when we don't cook at home, we almost always turn to high fat, high salt, and high cholesterol foods for the quick fix. Thus they cancel each other out. And that doesn't even factor in snacks and drinks.

So I guess here I am admitting to myself that I am not actually living up to the healthy self-image that I have of myself. It's great to have a positive self-image, but I think that the real thing must be even better. And while the ultimate goal is not necessarily to look smoking hot in a bikini (although that is certainly a bonus!) you can't exactly lie to yourself and tell yourself that you look smoking hot when it's staring you back in the mirror. All this leads to the obvious conclusion that it's time for some improvements.

Which brings me back to the blog title. A little more long winded than I planned but I guess that's what happens when you use social networking sights like these as your own journaling tool for self-revelation. So when I got back home and was lying awake in bed thinking about what kind of changes I was going to make, I decided instead of lying awake and thinking about them, I would actually get up and start working on them. I had already started a project, primarily to give myself something productive to do with all of this time I have at home by myself, of doing a full year's worth of meal plans. I am a person who does best when I have a concrete plan and stick to it. And while it takes a lot of energy to cook every night, it takes even more energy sometimes to plan it and do the grocery shopping. So I decided to get myself one step ahead by planning out the entire year.

Now this is dinners only mind you. But still an enormous task nonetheless. And to stay on track healthwise, I decided to select all of my recipes from Cooking Light. Not only do I have a couple of their annual cookbooks to start with but for Christmas I got a sordid collection of used issues from my sister as well as a new subscription from my grandparents. I'm keeping track of the recipes and actual meal plan in my Master Cook software program which is perfect for this kind of thing. And I recently finished the entire meal plan. I have 4-5 recipes planned out for each week. That accounts for a couple of nights a week when we may not be home, go out to eat, or eat up leftovers. By no means do I expect that I will ever stick to this plan 100%, but at least I have a plan now. I may want to change things or modify them here or there, try new recipes from other sources or whatnot. But at least I have a plan in place to fall back on when I don't have the time to take the extra steps.

So tonight, I decided to get up and take the extra step to not just have the recipes picked out but to print them out and start filing them in a notebook divided up in one week blocks. That way as each week comes I can just go to the notebook, pull out that week's recipes, and make my grocery list. Also, this makes it much easier for Don to get involved with the cooking as he can see what the plan is also and doesn't have to be so dependent on me to tell him what we are having for dinner and where to find the recipe, etc. So at this exact moment, I have 14 weeks worth of recipes, planned, printed and filed. And I am feeling pretty darn good about that. So there is a good start and a solid plan for healthful eating. Maybe tomorrow I'll start thinking about exercise.

Another Day

Still the same old thing here. Getting tired of being home all day. Working really hard on the job hunting thing. I've surfed all the sights, researched all the employers in my field, sent out applications for all of the appropriate positions. Now I have to wait a few days to see if I hear back from anyone or for new positions to open up and post to start the application cycle all over again. The job search takes up so much time that I am having trouble keeping up with the rest of my life. So I am taking a break today from actively job hunting and doing a few other things around the house like: laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, and preparing dinner for our gaming group tonight.

Also, Don and I watched a new movie last night called "Fido". It didn't get a lot of press which is why I wanted to spread the word. It is a zombie comedy set in 50's era about people who have tamed zombies and now keep them as household pets/servants. Also, the lead zombie in the movie is played by Billy Connelly. While it was not drop you on the floor hilarious, it still was very amusing and quite clever. I recommend seeing it if you get a chance. And if you do, let me know what you think. It is available on Netflix. Maybe if I had my own Zombie I could get more done around here.

Cut

I'm sure it has to be related to the unemployment status, but I have been having the stupidest re-occuring dream lately. It is my senior year of high school and I have been cut from the basketball team. Seriously, I have had three separate dreams now and they each seem to be picking up where the other left off like a serial show or something. In the first dream, I got usurped by the rising freshman star. In the second dream I found out I actually didn't make the team. Then finally, last night in episode three, my high school coach actually sat down with me on the bench while the other girls were practicing and asked me what my intentions were now that I had been cut from the team but was still showing up for practices? I told him that I was committed to the team whether he put me on the floor or not and that I intended to keep on practicing with them and would sit the bench during the games to rally the team.

I have to give my subconscious a little credit on this one. Getting cut from the basketball team - something I loved so passionately and that represented a major portion of my childhood identity - my senior year after having been committed to that team for so many years... I can't think of a better archetypal representation for my ultimate fear of failure and humiliation. Even so, I am proud of the fact that even in dreamland, that despite circumstances that are beyond my control I still know deep down inside that I am the best player for the job, that my coach is making a huge mistake, and that NO ONE can take care of my team the way I can. Spoken like a true Point Guard. Take that Sandman.